Don't Wait

 

Photo by: Tom Goober

 

Don’t Wait…

 

Not too long ago, I was talking with some people and one of the persons in on the conversation stated,

 

We’ve never talked about this …

And we need to…

 

How about you? Are there things you’ve never talked about…but need to? I bet there are.

Over the recent Thanksgiving holiday, we were around the table with family and friends and I was recounting some old story of mine…I kept asking my wife if it was OK to continue. She repeatedly said yes, but then a point came and she said, “Maybe not.” Simultaneously, my 28-year-old daughter said, “It’s kind of weird hearing you talk about these things…”

So, full disclosure: There are some dead dogs we should let lie…That’s not what I’m talking about when I ask if there are things you’ve never talked about…

 

What are the things we don’t talk about

but need to?

 

Back to the conversation I first mentioned. I found out that what needed to be talked about was something that happened 20 years ago. And as it got talked about, I found myself thinking, “Wow! What misunderstanding, pain and separation, along with assumptions and hard feelings, could have been avoided if only there had been clarity from the beginning…

 

Clarity = Clearly Conveyed Communication

 

We often say:

 

Communicate Early, Often and Clearly

 

And, if you are thinking that CLARITY might be a target you missed, ask some questions:

 

What did you hear me say?
What do you think I meant?
How did that make you feel?

 

You will never regret practicing CLARITY in your conversations. Heck, you might even find yourself boldly going where no one has gone before (to pull out some Trekky lingo) in your conversations.

AND, if you go there, what misunderstanding, bitterness, division, resentment, alienation (I could go on and on here) might you avoid?

I get to see BREAKTHROUGHS when family businesses are willing to re-visit some of the things in their history that led to these divisions. When I hear statements like:

 

I just always thought…

Or

If I’d have known that, I wouldn’t have…

Or

I just assumed…

 

THEN, I am pretty certain the likelihood of hearing something like the following just increased:

 

If that’s true, maybe I can trust again…

Or

I wish I’d have come to you sooner…

Or

Maybe I need to let go of that…

Or even

Maybe Dad can change…

 

So, I’ll ask one last time:

 

What are the things we don’t talk about

but need to?

 

May I encourage you to be bold and boldly go there…And by all means, don’t wait 20 years…