Thresholds

Photo by:  asenat29

STOP…whatever you are doing, and give four minutes of your time. You will, in turn, receive a gift. No, this is not a Nigerian prince scamming you…

In a “previous life” (actually, a very real life) 30 years ago, we spent a little over a year in England. I worked with a guy called Trevor Waldock. Trevor and I are very different…Having said that, learning to appreciate the differences, and persevering to remain in healthy relationship, I learned SO much from Trevor. We’ve been in contact off and on over the decades, and lately, I’ve had the opportunity to learn from him once again. Trevor has written, what I believe, is a very timely book, called, The Gift of Thresholds: Flourishing through Challenging Transitions. In this brief video, he introduces some of the key thoughts expressed in the book.  https://youtu.be/B7SMQJU2-1M?si=jbQTwfxdI2yuaHC2

 So many of the things Trevor shared are topics that I’ve addressed with clients over the years. (I guess maybe he and I aren’t so different after all. )

Please allow me to mention just a few:

• Near the start of the video, he cites BB King’s The Thrill is Gone. In a podcast Simon Sinek did with the founder of Charity Water, Scott Harrison, Sinek says: We’ve confused the thrills of life with the joy of life. And the thrills fade quickly, so we keep searching for the next one. As Trevor says, when the thrill is gone, maybe we are on some sort of threshold.
• Russell Brand: Change is possible. Hope is real.
• Allan Willman: All change is preceded by awareness. All change requires that I get uncomfortable.
• William Bridges wrote extensively on Transitions. Trevor has chosen to use the word Watch Trevor’s video to see how he “threshes out” the meaning of that word. Virtually all of my new clients are exposed to Bridges’ work through a white paper entitled, Getting Them Through The Wilderness. https://www.cccindy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/MARCH-3_Getting-them-through-the-wilderness-part1.pdf

Bridges’ contention is that every transition (Trevor’s threshold) has three phases:

• An ending
• A neutral zone
• A new beginning

AND, Bridges says, they MUST be taken in that order…

• And, finally, when Trevor says that it is possible to Offer more of yourself to a very needy world, I am reminded of Arthur Brooks’ words in From Strength to Strength: Strivers have an incredible opportunity to pivot from struggling against the tide of professional decline toward the wellspring of joy that is the love of others as they move from the first to the second curve.

Maybe, just maybe, Trevor is a helpful guide on a journey all of us are on to discover our true self, our true identity. Might it be that part of that discovery is giving ourselves away for the good of others? As Jamie Winship says, Your IDENTITY is your gift to the world.

Watch Trevor’s video. Even better yet, buy and read his book. You’ll be glad you did!