Summer Musings....

Photo by: Ian Burt 

Summer Musings…

I had the chance to shut down for a bit this summer. As the RPMs slow down, some things bubble to the surface. Bear with me as I share a few bubbles.

• We’re all familiar with the term unintended consequences. Results that happen through default or through a lack of awareness. For example, with good intentions I clean the dust off my mountain bike…but I didn’t intend the water to cause damage to the bearings that allow me to pedal and power my bike. Well, this summer I’ve been pondering

unintended inheritances.

What are unintended inheritances? They are things we don’t mean to pass on but do. A couple doesn’t mean to fight in front of their kids, but the kids see it and so they copy that behavior. Mom and Dad don’t mean to cause friction between their children, but because of the way their estate planning documents are written, the kids have to ALL agree in order to take a certain action. The result: collateral relational damage…I just finished reading a fascinating book on addiction: In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts, by Gabor Mate, MD. On p.253 he writes.

As a rule,

whatever we don’t deal with

in our lives,

we pass on to our children.

Be careful to avoid unintended inheritances.

• I had the chance to spend 5 days mountain biking with two good friends in Central Oregon. We rode hard, ate too much and slept too little. In the midst of our time, we were discussing life and the things we like to do and how our lives are conducted. I was trying to find a quote about leisure and ended up finding it after they left. In many ways, our week was full of leisure (even if most of the mountain biking was not at what I would call a leisurely pace…). It was Shakespeare who said:

Leisure is a beautiful garment

for a day, but a horrible choice

for permanent attire.

 Where is the balance?

• One of the friends who came to bike recently found out a friend had been diagnosed with Stage Four lung cancer. The friend said,

The sky has never been bluer…

the grass has never been greener…

Good for that friend, but why does it take cancer to get us to recognize that the sky is often blue and the grass is often green?

• And finally, I had coffee with a friend during my downtime. We were discussing the demands we face and how others can “impose” their demands on us. Someone once said,

There is no innocent “yes.”

We all need to consider boundaries. I said to this friend,

If you set boundaries

you will piss people off.

If you don’t, you will get pissed off.

I don’t know if you take time to “muse,” but let me encourage you to. You might be surprised what bubbles up to the surface. Enjoy the rest of your summer!